Short and funny

 


 

Merry new year and happy... No wait.

Happy Merry and new Christmas... Shit no, that ain't it

Uhhh Merry new Happy and...Ah fuck it...

You know what I mean


 

HOW MANY SEXY GUYS DOES IT TAKE TO

CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

HEY, IF YOU'RE IN THE DARK WITH A SEXY GUY,

WHY MESS WITH THE LIGHTS?

 


 

What is different between male and female brain?

Here is the answer!

Female Brain

Male Brain

 


A bulls dirty thoughts


Why don't blind people skydive?

because it scares the hell out of the dog!!!


What is the difference between a typical man and E.T. ?

E.T. Phoned home


Lisa came rushing in at the police station

and announced that she has been raped in the park.

- Do you have an description on the Man? the police wondered!

-No Lisa said, it was to dark, but I can sure you 

that it was an municipal worker.

- How come? the police wondered.

As soon as he got me on the grass, I got to do the work.

 


 

Hi, shall we go home to me and vacuum, I suck and you empty the bag

 


A person who possesses true peace is not one whose life is without


problems and turmoil but is rather a person who has peace in spite of it.
 


Santa and the Little Girl


A little girl is in line to see Santa. 

When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. 

Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, 

"I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

 


 Make love

Not babies  


What do you do when you have used 365 condoms In one year?

Melt them down to a tyre and call it ”GOOD YEAR”  


We will now

Upgrade your

Brain, please

Wait…………..

 

Searching…………….

Searching…………….

Still Searching…………….

...........…sorry, no brain

found…! Ha ha ha

 

 


 

A man asked his doctor if he thought

he'd live to be a hundred.

The doctor asked the man,

"Do you smoke or drink?"

"No," he replied, "I've never done either."

"Do you gamble, drive fast cars,

and fool around with women?"
inquired the doctor.

"No, I've never done any of those

things either."

"Well, then," said the doctor,

"what do you want to live to be a
hundred for?"